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Surge5560

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Surge5560
  • Town/Country : None of your business , United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 780
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Surge5560's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56164) - you deserved it (5702)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (4984)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70637) - you deserved it (6034)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35472) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28700) - you deserved it (5257)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (5563)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45291) - you deserved it (22603)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12994) - you deserved it (42758)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18136) - you deserved it (38484)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (2801)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22589) - you deserved it (39982)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36724) - you deserved it (9881)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (7201)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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