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Surge5560

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Surge5560

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4342
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Surge5560's page activity

Visits<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:37pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:32pm<b>cantfixme36</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:48am<b>jack123456789</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:18am<b>AnalAssault123</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:26am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:24pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:08am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:38am<b>warsun</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:24am<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Articulation</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:14am<b>XSimpleDesignX</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:42am<b>Tonasharkman</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:56am<b>whatwhatindayeah</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:47pm<b>jdeezy01</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:08am<b>spekledworf</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 12:36pm<b>juice723</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 6:24pm

Fucked!<b>cantfixme36</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 4:37pm

Surge5560's FML badges

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Surge5560's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52552) - you deserved it (11430)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46228) - you deserved it (5333)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42963) - you deserved it (13827)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

#20841179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44521) - you deserved it (8557)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64432) - you deserved it (23683)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52949) - you deserved it (3577)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49637) - you deserved it (8121)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

#20786212
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58553) - you deserved it (8234)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63482) - you deserved it (22409)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52893) - you deserved it (4620)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52469) - you deserved it (21202)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55560) - you deserved it (9513)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58350) - you deserved it (8158)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48596) - you deserved it (4576)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States



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