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Succeededkiller

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Succeededkiller
  • Town/Country : Reading, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 December 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 3322
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Succeededkiller's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (7613)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32901) - you deserved it (4074)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (4810)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (3745)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed hysterically. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (33261)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39605) - you deserved it (2837)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39535) - you deserved it (5679)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17916) - you deserved it (40212)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (16070)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (4338)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39530) - you deserved it (5590)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (2930)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (2492)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (5191)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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