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Succeededkiller

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Succeededkiller

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 December 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7792
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>demi94</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:59pm<b>Dawnstempest</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 1:50am<b>Irchell</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:57am<b>satin_betty</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 4:19pm

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Succeededkiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
115 comments

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17161) - you deserved it (3417)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (4011)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (7683)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (3824)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (26556)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28431) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (35275)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (3727)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21162) - you deserved it (36740)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30442) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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