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Subakie's FML badges
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Subakie's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 11:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 10:12am / United States / Work
by bloody_hell / 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 2:18am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
by je suis christy / 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by Lily_Rain77 / 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by zacharynedley / 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
by allgassedout / 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML
by outofajob / 01/01/2015 at 6:03pm / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML
by insomniacap / 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by BlondePsycho / 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML
by happytuckerhappy / 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my fiancé proposed to me. He said, "I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You're a solid 2, which is average. Not a 10, but I'm glad you're a 2. Less pressure, ya know." I'm not sure if I should be more upset with the fact that I'm "average", or the fact that he thought this was romantic. FML
by SupposedlyAverage / 12/27/2014 at 9:55am / United States / Love
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML
by GOAWAY / 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…