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Subakie's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Subakie's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
by Dreamer / 07/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by FuckYou / 07/02/2012 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by MonCoiffeurAdoré / 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Wwiimaniac / 06/25/2012 at 10:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
by tubby / 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids