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Subakie's favorite FMLs
by Cygnus / 08/03/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML
by StargazeKitsune / 07/31/2015 at 1:36am / United States (Montana) / Work
by Application / 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
Today, while visiting family in Taipei, I came across a large button that said "PUSH" on it. I was curious and pushed it. A deafening alarm then sounded for the next 10 minutes, attracting concerned neighbours and finally a security guard who informed me that I'd pushed a panic button. FML
by whoops / 07/08/2015 at 12:30pm / Taiwan / Holidays
Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML
by SiaJoy / 07/07/2015 at 2:00am / United States (Maine) / Work
Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 5:29am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2015 at 12:56pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML
by KingFML1 / 06/14/2015 at 1:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2015 at 11:37am / Croatia (Grad Zagreb) / Miscellaneous
by onionrings / 06/07/2015 at 8:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
by W T F / 06/03/2015 at 3:22am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy