StupidMonkey497

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Offline (the 07/10/2016 at 7:52pm)

StupidMonkey497

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1153
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About StupidMonkey497 : Hey there! My name is *why dafuq you want to know?*. I am 17 years old and live in the US. Listen to rock and all that good shit (3DG Avenged Sevenfold Breaking Benjamin etc) Could always use a good laugh.

StupidMonkey497's page activity

Visits<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 2:57am<b>jxfc</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 4:09pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 3:09pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 8:08pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 5:34pm<b>happypenguins</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:29am<b>munasweet</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:36am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 6:50pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 4:45pm<b>firefighter925</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:32am<b>cprad11</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:10am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:46pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:05pm<b>lexred</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:03am<b>ShadowLor</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 1:39pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 1:10pm<b>myselfkk</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 1:00pm<b>Xer0_Zexeroth</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:07am

Fucked!<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:21am<b>mswim</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 3:26pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:25am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 6:14am

StupidMonkey497's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of StupidMonkey497's badges

StupidMonkey497's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working when my boss left briefly, leaving me with her elderly, senile mother. Not only did I have to chase her when she ran after a stranger on the road, I turned my back for 5 seconds to do my actual job and she walked off. When my boss returned, I had to tell her I lost her mother. FML

by paid to scoop ice cream not nana-sit / 06/16/2016 at 11:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

by Courtney / 05/26/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Work

Today, I found out how it feels when someone slips and falls while they have a hypodermic needle in your arm. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, through a mutual friend, I met the girl of my dreams. After flirting and exchanging numbers with her, my friend confessed that she's liked me since the day we met. Now the girl of my dreams doesn't want to pursue a relationship with me out of respect for our friend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML

by K.S.S. / 04/16/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I took a two-hour bus ride to get to orientation, got stuck a block away because the pedestrian sidewalk was closed, waited half-an-hour for my ride in the rain, when someone called the cops on me for acting suspicious. I got to the interview soaking wet, and they told me they'd rescheduled. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 7:48pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML

by tittyboomboom / 03/24/2016 at 9:16am / Australia / Transportation

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 10:36am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

by speed-dialing dr kevorkian / 02/27/2016 at 2:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I said "I love you" to my girlfriend for the first time. She responded with, "I'm just gonna pretend I never heard that." FML

by Unreciprocated / 02/25/2016 at 1:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my 13 year-old son had a seizure in the middle of his history class. We were at the hospital for three hours and several expensive tests later he informed me he faked the seizure so he could get out of a group presentation. He was so proud that he was such a good actor. FML

by EllieS9311 / 02/16/2016 at 8:16am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, I requested a pay rise at work. They said they couldn't do it as they have to cut costs, so I resigned. They've now re-advertised my job for more money than I asked for. FML

by Anon / 01/26/2016 at 6:40am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Work

Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML

by CaptMacLeod / 01/26/2016 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

by VisceralWolf / 01/26/2016 at 1:35am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals