StitchnLilo

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Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 3:45pm)

StitchnLilo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 December 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 942
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About StitchnLilo : Hi

StitchnLilo's page activity

Visits<b>Booksawhi</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:08pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 11:23pm<b>xanderzmommy</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:37pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:29pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:28am<b>jackskeleton</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 5:48pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:55pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 6:05am<b>Kain713</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 6:32pm<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:44pm<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 4:02pm<b>1992yoko</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:15am<b>legoking236</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 1:30pm<b>Random_kid0718</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 1:35pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 1:46pm<b>fml1365</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 8:54pm<b>shibeep</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 12:55am<b>holeyman</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 9:29pm

StitchnLilo's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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StitchnLilo's favorite FMLs

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

by Sexy Rash / 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

by Amsterdamned13 / 09/13/2013 at 3:02pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

by (._. ) / 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

by damn dog / 07/05/2013 at 1:43am / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

by Goldar / 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm / United States / Work

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

by thefriedman / 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love