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StilettoLove's favorite FMLs
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation
by off to the whorehouse, then / 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML
by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…