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SteffiTheSmile

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SteffiTheSmile
  • Town/Country : Igloo
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 December 1940 (73 years)
  • Number of visits : 802
  • Number of comments : 470
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SteffiTheSmile's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

#18326133
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22918) - you deserved it (17534)

On 11/23/2011 at 11:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (13334)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80448) - you deserved it (11868)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

#17477307
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (5116)

On 08/15/2011 at 2:23am - animals - by Mumbling Mutt101 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (24287)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13509) - you deserved it (53467)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

#16353801
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33690) - you deserved it (2975)

On 05/26/2011 at 3:53am - love - by lovingpsychosis - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was so lonely that I was comforted by the sound of mice running through the walls of my apartment. I left cheese and peanut butter out for them to find so that I could at least have a pet for company. FML

#16338275
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (8753)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my grandfather, who is a retired Marine, has paid real money to buy ALL the Lady Gaga themed items for his farm in FarmVille. I don't know what's worse, that he did it, or that I'm jealous of not having that stuff. FML

#16261628
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (5888)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (28928)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (3860)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (5664)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

#15102397
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (14947)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

#14997625
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40155) - you deserved it (3356)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:14am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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