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SteffiTheSmile's favorite FMLs
Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML
by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love
Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML
by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML
by Sua / 09/19/2013 at 2:15am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by someone / 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Stheno / 09/16/2013 at 8:49am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML
by RoommateWanted / 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Animals
Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML
by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love
by whatjusthappened / 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by single again / 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Jasmine_smilee / 09/02/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by zephyrgk / 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…