About Starzak : Contrary to popular belief, you're and your are NOT interchangeable for fuck's sake.
Starzak's FML badges
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Starzak's favorite FMLs
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays
by nerp / 03/29/2016 at 3:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML
by Shock / 03/21/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by pantless / 03/21/2016 at 2:57pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my father-in-law left my wedding reception because he had to feed the dog. This would have been alright, if he hadn't been absent for nearly two hours. Apparently, just feeding the dog and leaving would have hurt the animal's feelings so he stayed to play with him for a while. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 11:58am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate used my PC without asking. Long story short, it's now infected with ransomware. The dissertation I've been working on for months is now encrypted, along with all the backups on my second hard drive. Now I have to pay the hackers $1,500 to get the decryption key. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 8:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 3:29am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by Wolf6661 / 03/14/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted to the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML
by NotEnoughBleach / 03/13/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 10:57am / United Kingdom / Love
by Jif_Creamy / 02/28/2016 at 12:00am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous