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  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13527
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Starzak : Contrary to popular belief, you're and your are NOT interchangeable for fuck's sake.

Starzak's page activity

Visits<b>royr7395</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 12:58am<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:12pm<b>mrsmikelowrey</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 7:41am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:47am<b>nfern046</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 11:26pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:27pm<b>splitms</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 7:04pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 4:20am<b>boostedc</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 5:58am<b>smeegle</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:53pm<b>914smv</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:11pm<b>moldypickles</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:49pm<b>SorryWrongPerson</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 11:39am<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 10:27am<b>Lustig_Junge</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 10:23am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:23am

Fucked!<b>splitms</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 3:06am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 8:48pm

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Starzak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML

by JoeyTheJedi / 10/17/2016 at 8:31pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't have an email, I have a Gmail." FML

by dez / 10/16/2016 at 1:05am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

by anonymous / 10/01/2016 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

by DreeStahr / 09/30/2016 at 12:05am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the 4th time a month ago. He is now back in prison. FML

by fox_at_heart / 09/29/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

by mavrick127 / 09/29/2016 at 10:21am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML

by ShameMonkey / 09/27/2016 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, a girl introduced herself to me with the line, "Hi, I'm Anna. I have a boyfriend." FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 8:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, "What kind of penises do you guys have?" wasn't even the weirdest thing I've heard my elderly female co-worker say this morning. FML

by mercumorr / 09/17/2016 at 8:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML

by kmyltd / 09/14/2016 at 2:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML

by Torbey / 09/13/2016 at 11:49pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML

by hahatofunny / 09/13/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, following a 6-hour roundtrip after having lost both games from a baseball doubleheader, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my 4-year-old son was still up. After updating him on the day's results, he went off to bed with the words, "Good night, loser." FML

by Loser / 09/13/2016 at 8:10am / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, I accidentally mooed during sex. FML

by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy