Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Starzak

Offline (the 01/20/2016 at 9:08am) | Search for a member

Starzak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11349
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Starzak : Contrary to popular belief, you're and your are NOT interchangeable for fuck's sake.

Starzak's page activity

Visits<b>LeIndianGirl</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:57am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:16am<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:38pm<b>hann_cat</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:09pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 11:29pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:45pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 10:45am<b>anythingrandom</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:41pm<b>Futebol_Queen11</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:55pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:45pm<b>jacob_coryell98</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:00pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:45pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:29pm<b>cpmagma</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:50pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:20pm

Starzak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Starzak's badges

Starzak's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

#21516125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/17/2016 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

#21515791
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (3619)

On 01/16/2016 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

#21514123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21475) - you deserved it (6175)

On 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm - misc - by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (3303)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I hate my distant visiting family so much that after work I take a detour and sit in my car on an adjacent street, contemplating reasons not to go home. FML

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (22360)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer gave me hell because a high-spec game he bought wouldn't run on his ancient Windows XP PC. I ended up having to profusely apologize and refund him. Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right" should probably be shot, run over by a bus, then shot a few more times. FML

#21510144
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (1774)

On 01/01/2016 at 9:28am - work - by fucking fuck off (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again! FML

#21510107
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (3030)

On 01/01/2016 at 5:33am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

#21509850
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (6607)

On 12/31/2015 at 5:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML

#21508983
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23920) - you deserved it (2419)

On 12/29/2015 at 6:07am - love - by Alien (man) - Switzerland

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time when she noticed I only have one testicle. She immediately broke up with me, for she doesn't want her future sons to be gay because they'll only have half of their testosterone. FML

#21508578
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (1667)

On 12/27/2015 at 11:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

#21507692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (1403)

On 12/25/2015 at 1:32pm - misc - by probably on death row soon (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

#21506706
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24068) - you deserved it (2023)

On 12/22/2015 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

#21506054
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (1499)

On 12/20/2015 at 11:24pm - work - by forever damaged - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: