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Starzak

Offline (the 04/19/2014 at 8:54am) | Search for a member

Starzak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9143
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Starzak : I was born on friday the 13th...

Starzak's page activity

Visits<b>DianeYoung</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:06pm<b>Ohshitdude</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:40am<b>Riiley</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:15am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:22pm<b>hurryHM</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:37am<b>charleegurl99</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 10:38pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 12:22am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:44pm<b>NesyDream</b> - the 04/13/2011 at 9:20pm<b>karina02</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 12:24pm

Starzak's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Starzak's favorite FMLs

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22819) - you deserved it (5266)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (11925)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (15168)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

#19287626
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (3392)

On 03/16/2012 at 6:38am - love - by elisabeth_pwnes - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my dad informed me that my prom dress makes me look chubby from the side, gives me "back fat", and that I wouldn't want to go to prom looking like that. I tried to ignore his hurtful comments and tell myself I was beautiful. Then the clasp broke. FML

#19287255
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (10200)

On 03/16/2012 at 3:13am - misc - by Winx - United States (Alaska)

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (20534)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

#19285505
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (4430)

On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (5117)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

#19283430
192 comments

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (2395)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (5919) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8305) - you deserved it (34414)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (3367)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6192) - you deserved it (43655)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)



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