About Starzak : Contrary to popular belief, you're and your are NOT interchangeable for fuck's sake.
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Starzak's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister played a prank by pretending to break into my house. I ended up nailing her in the chest with my baseball bat. Now all of my family is bitching and wants me to pay the medical bills. FML
by BlueBaronBitch / 06/24/2016 at 10:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML
by ForeverAGirlfriend / 06/13/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Toloveornottolove / 06/12/2016 at 12:08pm / Canada / Love
Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML
by babyscarface / 06/12/2016 at 11:48am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Spider fail / 05/31/2016 at 3:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays
by nerp / 03/29/2016 at 3:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML
by Shock / 03/21/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by pantless / 03/21/2016 at 2:57pm / United States (California) / Work