About Star928 : Hahahabananaha people think im weird.
But why be boring?
My life is just full of FML, guess that this is where I belong :3
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About Star928 : Hahahabananaha people think im weird.
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Star928's favorite FMLs
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML
by PinkTornado / 03/17/2009 at 10:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML
by isaacBENNETT / 03/17/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML
by asleepinclass / 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm / Poland (Warszawa) / Intimacy
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
by Alexa23 / 03/15/2009 at 11:47am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
by DanniRae / 03/13/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML
by Ugly / 03/08/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by laywer_man / 03/07/2009 at 1:43am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
by wetbutt / 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML
by ILTali / 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML
by brows / 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 2Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…