Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Squirrel1256

Offline (the 04/15/2015 at 4:01am) | Search for a member

Squirrel1256

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 April 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1560
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squirrel1256 : I love coming to FML to laugh, and feel better about myself.

Squirrel1256's page activity

Visits<b>osr215</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 3:35am<b>msturki</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:41pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:32am<b>TCRII</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:32pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:08pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:09am<b>Akerra89</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:48pm<b>larryb1986</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:37am<b>Indianboy9321</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:52pm<b>chris_42</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 11:47am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 9:50pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:45pm<b>abitabanana</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:47pm<b>hessel</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 2:41pm<b>mnie</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:04am<b>xbaumann</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:38am<b>kiba1229</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 11:27pm

Squirrel1256's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Squirrel1256's badges

Squirrel1256's favorite FMLs

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (5568)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (3140)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (9636)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38662) - you deserved it (2178)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48334) - you deserved it (6222) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (9934)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (3560)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46716) - you deserved it (7967)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84089) - you deserved it (25929)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (7217)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (5567)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9845) - you deserved it (28930)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: