Squirrel1256

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Offline (the 04/15/2015 at 4:01am)

Squirrel1256

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2169
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squirrel1256 : I love coming to FML to laugh, and feel better about myself.

Squirrel1256's page activity

Visits<b>osr215</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 3:35am<b>msturki</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:41pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:32am<b>TCRII</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:32pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:08pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:09am<b>Akerra89</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:48pm<b>larryb1986</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:37am<b>Indianboy9321</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:52pm<b>chris_42</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 11:47am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 9:50pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:45pm<b>abitabanana</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:47pm<b>hessel</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 2:41pm<b>mnie</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:04am<b>xbaumann</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:38am<b>kiba1229</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 11:27pm

Squirrel1256's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Squirrel1256's badges

Squirrel1256's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

by "people these days" / 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

by anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

by trice / 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

by Sean / 05/01/2013 at 12:44am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

by notlaughing / 04/18/2013 at 9:57am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

by S. Fancyson / 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous