Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SquealingMoose

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

SquealingMoose

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2108
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquealingMoose : I'm not very interesting... Sorry. But message me if you wanna chat or something!

SquealingMoose's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:41pm<b>KAZAMI2552</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 3:11am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:06am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:25pm<b>AwesomeRhone</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:06pm<b>clawfossil2</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:49pm<b>fueledbyhate</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:33am<b>Cgeneral002</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Etched</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 2:55am<b>chuckster2005</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 2:46am<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:04pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:57pm<b>ryanporter14</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Shrouds</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:45pm<b>evviejaye</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:58pm<b>davincidasecond</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:52am<b>lanah</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:51am<b>Saywat145</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:20am

Fucked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:26am

SquealingMoose's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SquealingMoose's badges

SquealingMoose's favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (3042)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (2537)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39399) - you deserved it (7293)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55371) - you deserved it (5638)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54853) - you deserved it (3691)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51391) - you deserved it (11860)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59522) - you deserved it (43321)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47892) - you deserved it (14395)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (7470)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44173) - you deserved it (6234)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50904) - you deserved it (6707)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (47886)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (17761)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: