About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.
1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.
About SqueakyChipmunk :
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SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML
by ko / 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (New York) / Work
by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML
by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM / 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by baby, baby no / 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm / Argentina (Buenos Aires) / Kids
by mayerstexmex69 / 11/08/2012 at 10:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML
by creedonfied / 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
by markderanjer / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
by justcomesnaturally / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by hiccups / 11/03/2012 at 11:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…