SqueakyChipmunk

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SqueakyChipmunk

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10443
  • Number of comments : 2534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 375 posted

About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.

1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/squeaky.thechipmunk
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.

SqueakyChipmunk's page activity

Visits<b>thundercrow1999</b> - yesterday at 11:28pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - yesterday at 11:04pm<b>stevenbro</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 9:27am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:56am<b>pacersarelove</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 1:55am<b>srhoa01</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:54pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 5:11pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:43pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Epickiller</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 11:04am<b>mrcurtis</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 9:45am<b>adj14</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 7:51am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:30pm<b>Sierra120</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 2:03pm<b>rivaraven</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 6:30pm<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:53am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - yesterday at 5:29am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 5:43am<b>mrcurtis</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:50am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:20am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:00am<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:27am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:47pm<b>AmIReallyRenee</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 9:19pm<b>JCX2</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:22am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:02pm<b>jadeeypo</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:36pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:52pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>KrisTeaNah</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:41am

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SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

by ko / 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM / 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

by baby, baby no / 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm / Argentina (Buenos Aires) / Kids

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

by mayerstexmex69 / 11/08/2012 at 10:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

by creedonfied / 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

by markderanjer / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

by justcomesnaturally / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

by hiccups / 11/03/2012 at 11:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy