SqueakyChipmunk

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SqueakyChipmunk

16Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10173
  • Number of comments : 2534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 375 posted

About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.

1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/squeaky.thechipmunk
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.

SqueakyChipmunk's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowvoid</b> - 17 hours ago<b>pacersarelove</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 1:55am<b>srhoa01</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:54pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 5:11pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:43pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Epickiller</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 11:04am<b>mrcurtis</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 9:45am<b>adj14</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 7:51am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:30pm<b>Sierra120</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 2:03pm<b>rivaraven</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 6:30pm<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:53am<b>raven83</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:53pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 7:27pm<b>slightlyadulty</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 12:09pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 5:43am<b>mrcurtis</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:50am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:20am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:00am<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:27am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:47pm<b>AmIReallyRenee</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 9:19pm<b>JCX2</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:22am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:02pm<b>jadeeypo</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:36pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:52pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>KrisTeaNah</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:41am

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SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

by WetWalking / 03/21/2013 at 9:31am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2013 at 7:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

by hejdixjeln / 03/17/2013 at 6:25am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

by asthmattack / 01/25/2013 at 1:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

by Saduglydad / 12/12/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 11:29am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

by woodless / 12/09/2012 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous