SpriteAndBananas

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Offline (the 03/19/2016 at 1:55am)

SpriteAndBananas

0Fucked!

SpriteAndBananasSpriteAndBananas
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 460
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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SpriteAndBananas's page activity

Visits<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:00pm<b>ButterflyLadyBug</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 12:39pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 4:55pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 11:10am<b>33Got_Game</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 3:07pm<b>KandyK16</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 7:05am<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 5:47pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 12:54pm<b>Pesticides</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 7:31pm<b>pacelily</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 5:28pm<b>VanillaButterfly</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:47pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 2:45pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:15am<b>katieschnepf</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 1:18pm<b>mz_wonderland</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 1:41am<b>gary3768</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:14am<b>RyoRyo</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 10:32pm<b>vballgirly28</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 10:29pm

SpriteAndBananas's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of SpriteAndBananas's badges

SpriteAndBananas's favorite FMLs

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

by car keyer / 12/02/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

by Palindromesque / 09/04/2013 at 5:07am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2013 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

by :) / 05/29/2013 at 3:31am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

by LightsOut / 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy