Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SpicyDuck

Online | Search for a member

SpicyDuck

39Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11435
  • Number of comments : 363
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About SpicyDuck : Today, you tried to hit on me thinking this was a dating site. FML

SpicyDuck's page activity

Visits<b>taytwat</b> - 19 hours ago<b>lesleyromer</b> - 21 hours ago<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:41am<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:32pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:46am<b>Destroyer_2_2</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 1:19am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:01am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:01pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:17pm<b>LadyGagasNipple</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:50am<b>rachelottavia</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 3:37am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:52am<b>chandler88</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:58pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:16pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 5:54am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:27am

Fucked!<b>lesleyromer</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 4:40pm<b>chandler88</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:58am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:28am<b>Mauer_jon</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:22am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:51am<b>lucyisbae</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:07pm<b>GIGA_IMPACT</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:48am<b>simon70</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:51am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:16am<b>osr215</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:07pm<b>jalenthesamoan</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 3:54pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:44am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:35am<b>illestprodigy928</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:33am

SpicyDuck's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SpicyDuck's badges

SpicyDuck's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43683) - you deserved it (2939)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32760) - you deserved it (4575)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40824) - you deserved it (5692)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41133) - you deserved it (3973)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (9523)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (4759)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46850) - you deserved it (12694)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67294) - you deserved it (5594)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41963) - you deserved it (3335)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48074) - you deserved it (8630)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44942) - you deserved it (7542)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55132) - you deserved it (27694)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: