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SpeedToast

Offline (the 08/21/2015 at 3:01am) | Search for a member

SpeedToast

22Fucked!

SpeedToastSpeedToast
  • Town/Country : Lubbock, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 962
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SpeedToast : Hey guys. :)

SpeedToast's page activity

Visits<b>mineller</b> - yesterday at 4:25pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:43am<b>DaBears777</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:06pm<b>silky_mitts</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:50am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:29pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:48pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Kelsey_R</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 8:15pm<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 5:23am<b>JustMe1600</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 3:22am<b>afrostybird</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:06am<b>Penialboywonder</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:24am<b>RoyalJoker4</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:51am<b>AK7186</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:48am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:10am<b>swarm20</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:42pm

Fucked!<b>afrostybird</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:02pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:32am<b>Tander</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:36am<b>amine91</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Clapdaddy</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 3:28pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:09am<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:38am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:55am<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:17am<b>moron011</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:24pm<b>jordyn20915</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:06am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:29am<b>jenamalone</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:02pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:46pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:06pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:34am<b>crashk13</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:38pm

SpeedToast's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of SpeedToast's badges

SpeedToast's favorite FMLs

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML

#21438976
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39359) - you deserved it (2167)

On 07/09/2015 at 10:38am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (3831)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (13096)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (13096)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (5036)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

#21376143
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (11452)

On 03/17/2015 at 2:12am - work - by Boss Troubles - United States (California)

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37024) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (2302)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
154 comments

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (3987)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (29177)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44386) - you deserved it (5570)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48733) - you deserved it (6040)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43316) - you deserved it (3389)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)



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