About SpazTheGreat : I rock my socks off.
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SpazTheGreat's favorite FMLs
by locksmack / 06/14/2009 at 8:46am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML
by person / 06/10/2009 at 7:03am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
by prostate / 06/08/2009 at 9:48am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 9:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
by baller / 06/08/2009 at 6:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by imfromtexas02 / 06/06/2009 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML
by graduate / 06/06/2009 at 9:17am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
by hamsterlovinn / 06/06/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm / Poland (Katowice) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by ailat0107 / 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except… Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when… Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours…