SparkOfJade

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Offline (the 11/03/2014 at 4:21pm)

SparkOfJade

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1207
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SparkOfJade : Award winning, professional, pole dancer and IT consultant in Washington D.C.

I work and live in DC where I'm a consultant for a large IT firm. In my spare time I also teach pole dance for a respected studio and hold several titles from all over the mid-Atlantic, where I compete.

SparkOfJade's page activity

Visits<b>nesteremily</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 12:04am<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 12:04am<b>jawarston</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 10:30pm<b>jesuis_julie</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:22pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:09pm<b>saltyacs</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:08am<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:39pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:00pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:29pm<b>GreekGleek6</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:38am<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:43pm<b>dianadarwish</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:28pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:44pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:44pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:55pm<b>WeaponsShrimp</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:27pm

Fucked!<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:04am<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:05am<b>eski2015</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:29am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:55pm

SparkOfJade's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of SparkOfJade's badges

SparkOfJade's favorite FMLs

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

by he's still not convinced / 10/24/2013 at 2:05am / United States / Kids

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

by emileeisamazing / 07/03/2013 at 12:54pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

by Ixi_the_pixie / 01/06/2012 at 11:16am / United States / Health

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work