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Somefruits

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Somefruits

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5307
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Somefruits : I'm actually a girl but it says "mister" just so I could have a blue border around my profile picture on the app since I like blue a lot more than pink and I'm just weird like that.

I was born the exact day Kurt Cobain died and I love science, animals (especially birds), music, plants, alliteration, assonance, terrible puns, and things that rhyme!
I have a lot of pets (mostly birds) including a ball python named Monty and a Senegal parrot named Loki.

Somefruits's page activity

Visits<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>abv96</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:16pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:25pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:05am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:33am<b>AstronautCreeper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:22pm<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:52am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:02am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Topasofmagic</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:53am<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:33am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:53am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:28am<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:57am<b>zarosian</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:51am<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:17am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:08am

Somefruits's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Somefruits's badges

Somefruits's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (6707)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50561) - you deserved it (5053)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49494) - you deserved it (5225)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51460) - you deserved it (7591)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65311) - you deserved it (6610)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67636) - you deserved it (5852)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44964) - you deserved it (8875)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49278) - you deserved it (9522)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46333) - you deserved it (8309)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76629) - you deserved it (17377)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55744) - you deserved it (6760)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69014) - you deserved it (12999)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61444) - you deserved it (4167)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35684) - you deserved it (16163)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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