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Somefruits

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Somefruits

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4805
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Somefruits : I'm actually a girl but it says "mister" just so I could have a blue border around my profile picture on the app since I like blue a lot more than pink and I'm just weird like that.

I was born the exact day Kurt Cobain died and I love science, animals (especially birds), music, plants, alliteration, assonance, terrible puns, and things that rhyme!
I have a lot of pets (mostly birds) including a ball python named Monty and a Senegal parrot named Loki.

Somefruits's page activity

Visits<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>abv96</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:16pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:25pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:05am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:33am<b>AstronautCreeper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:22pm<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:52am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:02am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Topasofmagic</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:53am<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:33am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:53am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:28am<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:57am<b>zarosian</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:51am<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:17am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:08am

Somefruits's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Somefruits's badges

Somefruits's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49162) - you deserved it (3118)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14190) - you deserved it (50188)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15467) - you deserved it (46995)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70631) - you deserved it (3778)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117093) - you deserved it (8829)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

#4524259
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47687) - you deserved it (7192)

On 08/14/2009 at 11:53am - intimacy - by seeminglyunsexy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51973) - you deserved it (7047)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63445) - you deserved it (2663)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a patient was late for a psychiatry appointment, after having missed his previous two. I am the medical student on the team that was supposed to do his assessment. I said, "You snooze, you lose." Everyone stopped and looked at me. Apparently, he missed them because he has narcolepsy. FML

#4433335
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13578) - you deserved it (44355)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:48pm - health - by psychedout (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (10937)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (76317)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

#4379266
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14859) - you deserved it (50886)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61396) - you deserved it (6541)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41356) - you deserved it (16762)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55482) - you deserved it (28239)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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