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Somefruits

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Somefruits

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4650
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Somefruits : I'm actually a girl but it says "mister" just so I could have a blue border around my profile picture on the app since I like blue a lot more than pink and I'm just weird like that.

I was born the exact day Kurt Cobain died and I love science, animals (especially birds), music, plants, alliteration, assonance, terrible puns, and things that rhyme!
I have a lot of pets (mostly birds) including a ball python named Monty and a Senegal parrot named Loki.

Somefruits's page activity

Visits<b>abv96</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:16pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:25pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:05am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:33am<b>AstronautCreeper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:22pm<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:52am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:02am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Topasofmagic</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:53am<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:33am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:53am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:28am<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:57am<b>zarosian</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:51am<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:17am<b>varutha</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:58pm

Somefruits's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Somefruits's badges

Somefruits's favorite FMLs

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57644) - you deserved it (6939)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43776) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41303) - you deserved it (4067)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35246) - you deserved it (5234)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (9577)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44175) - you deserved it (9479)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52661) - you deserved it (18592)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59143) - you deserved it (11468)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)



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