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SomeRandomGuy15's FML badges
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SomeRandomGuy15's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML
by wtf3456 / 08/31/2011 at 5:16am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by ryanlogan / 08/31/2011 at 2:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML
by Nick / 08/23/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I had a mild allergic reaction from eating pasta salad. I told my mom that I might be allergic to the parsley, since it was the only ingredient that I don't eat often. She made me eat a sprig of it to "make sure." Now my face is covered in hives. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 10:17pm / United States / Health
Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by xXangelaXx / 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm / United States / Animals
Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML
by Tinkerer / 08/21/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by callofdutyhater / 08/21/2011 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho / 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
by erineilis / 08/16/2011 at 10:22am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous