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SomeRandomGuy15's FML badges
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SomeRandomGuy15's favorite FMLs
by Great / 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
by foreveralone / 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by RaccoonFever / 01/10/2014 at 6:15am / United States (California) / Animals
by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by stopstutteringforSiri / 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm / United States / Love
by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML
by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan.… Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on… Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I…