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SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back, where I work, and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
by justhatelife / 12/09/2016 at 9:49am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was helping my dad sell furniture online after a messy divorce. After organising everything to be picked up, it turned out the buyer was the guy Mum had the affair with. What are the chances? FML
by immisterbulldops / 12/08/2016 at 4:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, while at the movies, I started making my way to the end of the row so I could pee. Others moved to make room except for a man at the end. As I tried to climb over him, I tripped and fell on top of him. When I told him I was sorry, he just smiled and said, "Mmm, don't be. I enjoyed it." FML
by NewUsername / 12/05/2016 at 4:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
by perverted teenage girl / 11/29/2016 at 4:51pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after being excited and trying to make plans with all my friends, they all turned out to be busy. After watching Netflix most of the night, I check my Snapchat stories only to see them all hanging out without me at one of their houses. FML
by CollegeStudent / 11/26/2016 at 12:55am / Miscellaneous
by Wanaaa / 11/25/2016 at 2:08am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, I spent my working day teaching my new Supervisor the basics of Excel. Until two weeks ago, he was the Office Junior. He and I applied for the same job, but he got it based on the strengths of his "far superior" Excel skills. I'm now teaching him how to do the job that I didn't get. FML
Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML
by SorrySnowWhite / 11/21/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by hoppgrasser / 11/12/2016 at 10:17am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my boss at my new job yelled at me for being 15 minutes early to work. Last week he yelled at me for being late for my shift when I arrived 5 minutes early. He's considering this my final warning before I'm fired. FML
Today, I thought I was being a good worker by showing a mother and daughter several rooms before they settled on one. Turns out Mommy dearest only wanted a place for her brat to throw a party. The cops found alcohol, drugs, and guns. This from the people who complained about a loose chair arm. FML
by naivemisanthrope / 11/07/2016 at 2:36pm / Work
by fedmisery / 11/07/2016 at 12:13am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by chelsay05 / 11/03/2016 at 8:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work