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SneakyDeath's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs
by b.fritz / 09/24/2016 at 6:02am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I've been recovering for a week from my medically needed circumcision. I'm 30, and they advise you wear essentially a jock strap for the first week to help. It wasn't too bad until I went to take the thing off and it caught a stitch on my manhood. That's the most unique pain ever. FML
by T3kM4n / 09/20/2016 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I took my wife to a country concert for her birthday, even though I can't stand country. While she had the time of her life, I was punched twice, had a beer dropped on me, and had a rather large, drunk woman fall on me. Happy birthday, baby. FML
by Senseless_487 / 09/16/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by bigbaby / 09/16/2016 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Randomspaghetti / 09/15/2016 at 5:11pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by MumMatters / 09/09/2016 at 6:26am / Germany (Hamburg) / Kids
by KittyKat168 / 09/09/2016 at 5:34am / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to use the internet.” FML
by Grandzilla / 09/09/2016 at 12:10am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Geek
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
by AnxiousCucumber / 09/07/2016 at 4:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my teacher called a friend and me out of class and told us we had been reported for plagiarism because our answers to a problem were nearly identical, and he said that I shouldn't have shared my work. This for an assignment where significant marks were awarded for collaborating with peers. FML
by R / 09/05/2016 at 6:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML
by anonymous / 09/04/2016 at 6:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by chubrubber / 09/04/2016 at 2:57pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I had a fever from a stomach virus. I was shivering with cold sweats while she explained there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but she would regret not giving her cheating ex a second chance. FML
by sick and lonely / 08/26/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…