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SnazzyPotter's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
SnazzyPotter's favorite FMLs
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by weirdoe / 02/07/2016 at 4:17am / Italy (Sicilia) / Intimacy
by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work
Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML
by GeeLoftus / 01/31/2016 at 2:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML
by fuckoffgramps / 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Septy / 01/21/2016 at 1:17pm / Spain (Andalucia) / Love
Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML
by Garfield / 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
by yek / 12/24/2015 at 2:01pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by hiitisbrooke / 11/23/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML
by michelle / 11/15/2015 at 10:21am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids
Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML
by Quendolin / 11/09/2015 at 9:07am / Germany / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else… Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us… Today, I met with a student in office hours to discuss an assignment when my nose started bleeding.…