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Smurple6

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Smurple6
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1068
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Smurple6's last visitors

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Smurple6's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Smurple6's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (5768)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

#21021762
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (10109)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm - love - by Unfortunately Me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48068) - you deserved it (3503)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

#21014568
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35873) - you deserved it (7468)

On 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm - misc - by Andrew (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42793) - you deserved it (9469)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

#21007608
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm - animals - by eyes wide SHIT (woman) - Australia

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43486) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

#20997702
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49386) - you deserved it (4283)

On 12/19/2013 at 1:13am - love - by hot_friend (woman) - United States

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46440) - you deserved it (5063)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49631) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the girl of my dreams said yes when I asked her out. Our conversation afterward consisted of her telling me "no one can know" and saying she doesn't want to do things normal couples do. I'm basically in the deepest level of the "friendzone": the friendzoned boyfriend. FML

#20983541
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47222) - you deserved it (4275)

On 12/07/2013 at 1:56am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36761) - you deserved it (4110)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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