About SmittyJA24 : Retired football player; now I play golf, smoke cigars, drink fine whisky, skinny-dip in the Caribbean and enjoy life.
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SmittyJA24's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 2:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money
Today, I was heading out for my flight to Australia. I'd put a padlock on my luggage to keep my wallet and passport safe, only to realize way too late that I'd left the key at home. I couldn't get at my passport and ended up missing my flight and my whole vacation along with it. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML
by loserman67 / 07/18/2016 at 8:04am / Intimacy
by Foolish / 07/18/2016 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/16/2016 at 5:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
by goldendarkness / 07/08/2016 at 9:34pm / Miscellaneous
by Butch / 07/04/2016 at 1:19pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by SJDAOisdjlkSADlksda / 07/01/2016 at 10:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I washed my boyfriend's work clothes, trying to make up for a fight we had earlier. After taking them out, I found his phone, wallet and keys at the bottom of the washer, completly waterlogged. This is not the peace offering I'd hoped for. FML
by bigbagofnope / 06/17/2016 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom / Love
by anonymous / 06/14/2016 at 12:47pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by confused_cashier / 06/11/2016 at 9:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
by Arachnaphobe / 06/03/2016 at 6:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…