About SmittyJA24 : Retired football player; now I play golf, smoke cigars, drink fine whisky, skinny-dip in the Caribbean and enjoy life.
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SmittyJA24's favorite FMLs
Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML
by ANON / 09/21/2016 at 10:09am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML
by grossed out / 09/21/2016 at 5:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by polkadotpinup / 09/16/2016 at 1:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML
by hahatofunny / 09/13/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/12/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Lonile13 / 09/06/2016 at 11:28pm / Philippines / Intimacy
Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML
by KayIsKiwi99 / 08/29/2016 at 3:00pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Emmereen / 08/22/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was another stressful day of watching servicemen at my job trying to figure out what broke an extremely expensive and essential machine. I'm just waiting for the day they finally discover the earring I dropped into it about a week ago FML
by Girl w/ the Pearl Earring / 08/22/2016 at 7:46am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by chewsef / 08/08/2016 at 11:22pm / United States (California) / Money
by meltingturtle / 08/01/2016 at 11:25pm / Love
Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML
by Toroka / 07/29/2016 at 2:59pm / Love
Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML
by NoDocVisit / 07/26/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…