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SmeXikoE's FML badges
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SmeXikoE's favorite FMLs
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love
Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by prego / 04/13/2012 at 10:15am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML
by rusrs / 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by stupidprankster / 03/09/2012 at 5:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
by Rissa Warrington / 03/09/2012 at 3:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by kaipodable / 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Musicfreak / 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
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- Today, marks the third week after getting my braces, and yet I still can't eat any solid foods. My… Today, I was sexting my boyfriend so when I went to pick him up from work I put some cute lingerie… Today, early in the morning, I went to the store for a few things. The doors wide open, I gather my…