Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Smartdumbblonde

Online | Search for a member

Smartdumbblonde

3Liked!

SmartdumbblondeSmartdumbblonde
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 June 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3803
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smartdumbblonde : Happy llama, sad llama, mentally disturbed llama, super llama, drama llama, big fat mama llama. Llama llama llama, who is this big llama, causing all this drama, it's me bitch💁. Pip pip ta do da lee do, run along now and remember Cockadoodledo the cow says moo and that is all.

Smartdumbblonde's page activity

Visits<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:02pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:00pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 6:37pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:33am<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:22pm<b>Hunter4413</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 1:23pm<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:32am<b>thuguke</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:59pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:38am<b>zack1717</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:44pm<b>BecauseIAmBatman</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:13am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:54am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:41am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 6:10pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Darkcamzy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:42pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:11pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:09pm

Liked!<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:22pm<b>zack1717</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:44am<b>Hunter4413</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:36am

Smartdumbblonde's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Smartdumbblonde's badges

Smartdumbblonde's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (2629)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6) - you deserved it (4)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7) - you deserved it (5)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (2834)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32984) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12) - you deserved it (30771)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (5061)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36187) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (35615)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (10217)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38504) - you deserved it (2542)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (4815)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (4178)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (4634)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: