SleepWalken

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SleepWalken

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 October 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 935
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SleepWalken : I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass... for two years

SleepWalken's page activity

Visits<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:37pm<b>sailing_is_life</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:08am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 4:18pm<b>Mr_Quinten</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 12:34am<b>MuppetMerkin</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 2:46pm<b>LukeE45</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:13am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 10:47pm<b>gAt_d</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:03pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:30pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:07pm<b>Gunnie</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 10:34am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:56pm<b>ubertuber</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:38pm<b>vballgirly28</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 9:54am<b>makowiec</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 7:49am<b>dmaterialized</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 7:15am<b>Zerizle</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 8:55pm

SleepWalken's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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SleepWalken's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 7:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:08am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

by CancerFdMyLife / 09/26/2013 at 9:50am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

by peejay6831 / 09/23/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Work

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm / United States / Money

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy