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Slaught000's favorite FMLs
Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML
by I'm so wet, baby / 11/28/2014 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom / Work
by Anonymous / 11/28/2014 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML
by Sheh / 07/16/2014 at 11:02am / Sweden / Animals
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health
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- Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too… Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled… Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the…