SkoomaKi

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 5:25pm)

SkoomaKi

59Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11594
  • Number of comments : 1781
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About SkoomaKi : (Skuu-ma-kee)

Lurked since early 2010, then I finally decided to make an account in 2011.

I like all regular commenters =)

Enjoy my tales.

The Moderators - Stories tell of Gods who walk among the FML commenters, keeping peace and prosperity throughout the community.

Perdix - Some say he is commenter who has been here since the beginning of FML, even the universe.

DocBastard - Legends tell of a medically fascinated doctor. Not much is known about him, just his intellect.

NoorFML - No one knows much about her, except her relations with Ezio (her husband). She is also a ninja.

Baustigt - Tales tell of an owner just as crazy as her dog. The dog, named Dula, can destroy worlds.

KyleeKay – Myths explain this girl’s obsession with the workings of human emotion. Her rational and ideal advice is wise to follow.

ManInTheMachine – A cyborg whom's consciousness is formed by it's computer program forming random code.

SkoomaKi's page activity

Visits<b>RectumRecker</b> - yesterday at 3:05pm<b>lalalandofnot</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 1:14pm<b>optimusic</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 10:07pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 4:02pm<b>Hooorror</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 3:09pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:44pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 8:38am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 1:46am<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 1:07am<b>Chrysic</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 7:14pm<b>Sam611001</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 1:45pm<b>Blashay18</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 11:41pm<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 9:05am<b>midnight1890</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 12:01am<b>Fluffyturtle21</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 9:32pm<b>hwhayes01</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 2:29am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:27pm<b>igottapee</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 6:21pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:38pm<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 7:08am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 7:00pm<b>AlexOrban</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:54am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 9:35pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 9:22am<b>igottapee</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 7:31am<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:18pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 9:16pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 9:03pm<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:04am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:50am<b>minkyman1935</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:36pm<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:24pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:23pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:30pm<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:55am

SkoomaKi's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SkoomaKi's badges

SkoomaKi's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

by Mark Allan / 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 9:25am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 9:25am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

by davey d / 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

by lovefortoday / 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML

by Me / 03/07/2012 at 1:24pm / United States / Work

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2012 at 7:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

by mary / 02/21/2012 at 10:33am / Australia / Health

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

by flowerman / 12/26/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Love