SkoomaKi

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 5:25pm)

SkoomaKi

57Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10311
  • Number of comments : 1781
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About SkoomaKi : (Skuu-ma-kee)

Lurked since early 2010, then I finally decided to make an account in 2011.

I like all regular commenters =)

Enjoy my tales.

The Moderators - Stories tell of Gods who walk among the FML commenters, keeping peace and prosperity throughout the community.

Perdix - Some say he is commenter who has been here since the beginning of FML, even the universe.

DocBastard - Legends tell of a medically fascinated doctor. Not much is known about him, just his intellect.

NoorFML - No one knows much about her, except her relations with Ezio (her husband). She is also a ninja.

Baustigt - Tales tell of an owner just as crazy as her dog. The dog, named Dula, can destroy worlds.

KyleeKay – Myths explain this girl’s obsession with the workings of human emotion. Her rational and ideal advice is wise to follow.

ManInTheMachine – A cyborg whom's consciousness is formed by it's computer program forming random code.

SkoomaKi's page activity

Visits<b>Fluffyturtle21</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 9:32pm<b>hwhayes01</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 2:29am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:27pm<b>igottapee</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 6:21pm<b>xanhx</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 7:37am<b>Kyxul</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 11:23pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 12:51am<b>Noobish_Elk</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 9:29am<b>AlexOrban</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:54am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:22am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:51am<b>riandcheysmom</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:59pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:35pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 1:26pm<b>EmZoWe</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 1:28am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:48pm<b>AC98</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 12:19pm<b>michu</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 12:28pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 7:00pm<b>AlexOrban</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:54am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 9:35pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 9:22am<b>igottapee</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 7:31am<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:18pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 9:16pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 9:03pm<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:04am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:50am<b>minkyman1935</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:36pm<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:24pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:23pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:30pm<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:55am<b>Myorafield</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 3:09am<b>bps2007</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:08pm

SkoomaKi's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SkoomaKi's badges

SkoomaKi's favorite FMLs

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, after two years of vigorously fundraising on behalf of my senior class, they voted on spending the senior trip money at a waterpark. It's less than thirty minutes from where we all live. FML

by clitty clitty bang bang / 04/13/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

by potassiumgirl / 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

by kellie1115 / 04/10/2012 at 12:41am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

by Stinky. / 04/08/2012 at 11:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

by anonomous / 04/07/2012 at 11:27am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

by potatoebee / 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

by Wannabees / 04/03/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

by IloveJapan / 04/02/2012 at 10:02am / Japan / Love

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

by halfasleep / 03/27/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Connecticut) / Health