About SkoomaKi : (Skuu-ma-kee)
Lurked since early 2010, then I finally decided to make an account in 2011.
I like all regular commenters =)
Enjoy my tales.
The Moderators - Stories tell of Gods who walk among the FML commenters, keeping peace and prosperity throughout the community.
Perdix - Some say he is commenter who has been here since the beginning of FML, even the universe.
DocBastard - Legends tell of a medically fascinated doctor. Not much is known about him, just his intellect.
NoorFML - No one knows much about her, except her relations with Ezio (her husband). She is also a ninja.
Baustigt - Tales tell of an owner just as crazy as her dog. The dog, named Dula, can destroy worlds.
KyleeKay – Myths explain this girl’s obsession with the workings of human emotion. Her rational and ideal advice is wise to follow.
ManInTheMachine – A cyborg whom's consciousness is formed by it's computer program forming random code.
About SkoomaKi : (Skuu-ma-kee)
SkoomaKi's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
SkoomaKi's favorite FMLs
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
by lon01t / 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids
by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML
by notrocketscience / 05/07/2012 at 11:57am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by zomg / 04/30/2012 at 5:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 5:45am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 12:41am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML
by HAIRY / 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 3:17pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by crazyk2468 / 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
by A Henderson / 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm / United States / Work
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
by :| / 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/25/2012 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Kids
by anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I was mugged by a homeless lady who was eating a pudding cup with a spoon. At one point she… Today, I was disowned by my mother because I asked her to tone it down on Facebook. She flipped out… Today, my boss called me in to work on my only day off in two weeks. After working more than a full…