SimonAndMarcy

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Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 4:22am)

SimonAndMarcy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 960
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SimonAndMarcy : Toking the high road.

SimonAndMarcy's page activity

Visits<b>mLove395</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 9:54am<b>FurryPride</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 4:03pm<b>PandaKitteh</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 12:08am

SimonAndMarcy's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of SimonAndMarcy's badges

SimonAndMarcy's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

by Anothermoose / 05/25/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

by wtf / 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

by GimmeLaCoffee / 05/15/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

by Blaisey / 04/21/2014 at 1:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

by HeyTherexxx / 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

by Confused / 04/16/2014 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

by TNDriver / 07/16/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

by Sam / 07/15/2013 at 1:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work