About SimonAndMarcy : Toking the high road.
SimonAndMarcy's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
SimonAndMarcy's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by Anothermoose / 05/25/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
by wtf / 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML
by GimmeLaCoffee / 05/15/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids
by Blaisey / 04/21/2014 at 1:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by HeyTherexxx / 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML
by Confused / 04/16/2014 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Twix88 / 02/19/2014 at 6:00am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
by TNDriver / 07/16/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML
by Sam / 07/15/2013 at 1:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work
- Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal".… Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given… Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he…