About Silveera : Point Blank, I'm a goth.
Silveera's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Silveera's favorite FMLs
Today, I leaned over to pick something up and heard a loud "pop" from my waistline, followed by a "clink" on the other side of the room. My pants button had popped off my pants. Time to lose some weight. FML
by -1 Pair of Pants / 05/30/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
by eebie jeebies / 05/30/2016 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 11:15am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML
by Spongebob Garypants / 05/25/2016 at 10:05pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML
by Kakapo4Ever / 05/20/2016 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Animals
Today, my boss asked if I'd finished my work for the day. I've been binge-watching Game of Thrones this week, and I accidentally replied "Yes, Your Grace," British accent and all. He told me to stow my "sarcasm" or I'd be looking for a new job. FML
by Sir Davos of Shit Creek / 05/13/2016 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by sam.exe / 04/29/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Roomie pay rent plz / 04/23/2016 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 11:01pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
by Jake Leiter / 03/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML
by Mr. King / 03/16/2016 at 4:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me.… Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to… Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in…