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Shortay123's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Shortay123's favorite FMLs
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
by um... maybe / 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, and how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about you every day" and walking away. Thanks. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 2:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML
by Hopelesshomeless / 03/12/2013 at 2:35pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML
by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 10:05am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
by kenleybunch / 03/12/2013 at 9:22am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by lonely girl / 03/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
by Greg / 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML
by Moose / 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by dl / 04/11/2012 at 10:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Ismellbacon / 02/29/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health