Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn

32Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (50 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8974
  • Number of comments : 348
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 10:31pm<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 1:05am<b>iwillcallpolice</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 9:27am<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 1:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 9:08pm<b>disturbedgd</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 3:11pm<b>chyiochan</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 8:29pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 4:51am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 7:12pm<b>joco4</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 2:26am<b>Brightbulb</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 4:52pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 2:40pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 4:09pm<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:03am<b>darkangel7410</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:54am<b>crackie</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:47pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 8:44am<b>MagicalPony3783</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:02pm

Fucked!<b>disturbedgd</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 5:10am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 7:07am<b>Brightbulb</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 6:36am<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 3:03pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:22am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:23am<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:55am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:19am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:04pm<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:40am<b>Crazion</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:06pm<b>GeneralMotors</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:13pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:00am<b>kibster9</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:52am<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:38pm

Shmatterhorn's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Shmatterhorn's badges

Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

by ugh / 07/15/2013 at 7:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

by Anna / 07/13/2013 at 12:40am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

by Demotivation / 07/02/2013 at 10:35am / Germany (Berlin) / Work

Today, what started off as an amazing date with my girlfriend ended with me driving her drunk ass home while she sat in the backseat making out with her new boyfriend. FML

by BimmerDriver / 06/30/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

by brigitte / 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm / France (Picardie) / Miscellaneous

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

by LyraAlluse / 06/26/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health