Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn

28Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (49 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7810
  • Number of comments : 336
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>MagicalPony3783</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:02pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 5:11pm<b>popularonion</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:38pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:04am<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 10:36pm<b>mmaarrrggoo</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 6:19am<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 1:41am<b>refticon</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 6:21pm<b>demix</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:50pm<b>Deathly52</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:45pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:33pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 5:53am<b>rollingstone62</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 12:51am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 12:22am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 9:13pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 2:37pm<b>o_k_gamer</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 8:22am

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:22am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:23am<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:55am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:19am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:04pm<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:40am<b>Crazion</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:06pm<b>GeneralMotors</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:13pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:00am<b>kibster9</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:52am<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:38pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:47pm<b>kimg0885</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:15pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:56pm

Shmatterhorn's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Shmatterhorn's badges

Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

by polluxdc / 01/10/2014 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

by sydstreet / 12/25/2013 at 10:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

by opinionsarestill / 12/20/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML

by MzZombicidal / 12/17/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

by jessierules93 / 12/07/2013 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

by georgiaswish / 11/20/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

by kb / 11/18/2013 at 1:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

by haleymcaldwell / 11/12/2013 at 1:43pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

by queenxalee / 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

by twitterfailsme / 11/04/2013 at 7:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Work