Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn

30Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (50 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8221
  • Number of comments : 341
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>Brightbulb</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 4:52pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 2:40pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 4:09pm<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:03am<b>darkangel7410</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:54am<b>crackie</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:47pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 8:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 8:40pm<b>MagicalPony3783</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:02pm<b>popularonion</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:38pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:04am<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 10:36pm<b>mmaarrrggoo</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 6:19am<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 1:41am<b>refticon</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 6:21pm<b>demix</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:50pm<b>Deathly52</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:45pm

Fucked!<b>Brightbulb</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 6:36am<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 3:03pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:22am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:23am<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:55am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:19am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:04pm<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:40am<b>Crazion</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:06pm<b>GeneralMotors</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:13pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:00am<b>kibster9</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:52am<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:38pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:47pm<b>kimg0885</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:15pm

Shmatterhorn's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Shmatterhorn's badges

Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

by unseeable / 08/29/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

by rabidfairy / 08/12/2014 at 10:04pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

by 2013bchan41 / 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

by tuck87 / 07/18/2014 at 11:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

by DJJayLee / 06/23/2014 at 1:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

by fuckmyjob / 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

by CapnCrunchKat / 05/09/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Delaware) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

by watch_corn_dance / 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

by DarthVerona / 03/14/2014 at 4:07pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.