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Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Urbana, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (47 years)
  • Number of visits : 1167
  • Number of comments : 210
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

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Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

#1844293
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125362) - you deserved it (8038)

On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

#828754
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111862) - you deserved it (4813)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - health - by juliet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79196) - you deserved it (3867)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

#657001
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131294) - you deserved it (5737)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

#570871
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81632) - you deserved it (5498)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my fianc''s grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him, "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML

#334008
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86505) - you deserved it (4726)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by chefdujour (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

#290845
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84363) - you deserved it (3489)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a letter from my college saying that if my tuition was not paid in the next 24 hours, I will be terminated from classes. Turns out account services has been depositing my tuition money in another student’s account whose social security number was one digit different from mine. FML

#229421
43 comments

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (145921) - you deserved it (12662)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75502) - you deserved it (4479)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML

#18
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76346) - you deserved it (14618)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:28am - love - by Anonymous -



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