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Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn

14Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (48 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5231
  • Number of comments : 276
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>jelly_bennett</b> - 12 hours ago<b>FatKitty</b> - 23 hours ago<b>aislinn_skye</b> - yesterday at 8:17am<b>clarachan</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:07am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:39am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:11am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:15pm<b>moodsoflol</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:40am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:33pm<b>XxDevilxXGt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:20pm<b>LordTickledicks</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:29am<b>kimg0885</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:01am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:47am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:44am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:28pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 5:45pm

Fucked!<b>jelly_bennett</b> - 6 hours ago<b>kimg0885</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:15pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:56pm<b>StillUsesMyspace</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 8:01pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:28am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:19pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:43am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:42am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:42pm<b>mete_orito</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:38am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Paid4Hir3</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 5:25pm

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Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (5812)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (2256)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18260) - you deserved it (1458)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (3025)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

#20158967
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (5603)

On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (2596)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (3562)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (1942)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18021) - you deserved it (1875)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (3036)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19396) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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