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Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn

16Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (49 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5920
  • Number of comments : 295
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:24am<b>GEFStryker</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 12:09pm<b>GrumblySphinx</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 2:05pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:56pm<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:15pm<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Marcella1016</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:03am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 7:07am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:20pm<b>lishabear</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:51pm<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:23am<b>mwali02</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:05pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:02am<b>annihil8or</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:57am<b>Waffleman44</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 6:11pm<b>FatKitty</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:51am<b>aislinn_skye</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:17am

Fucked!<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:38pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:47pm<b>kimg0885</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:15pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:56pm<b>StillUsesMyspace</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 8:01pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:28am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:19pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:43am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:42am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:42pm<b>mete_orito</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:38am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Paid4Hir3</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 5:25pm

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Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62316) - you deserved it (12389)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42803) - you deserved it (5663)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55239) - you deserved it (3153)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43964) - you deserved it (3255)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

#20709553
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55789) - you deserved it (11264)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Senegal

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45597) - you deserved it (7961)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48141) - you deserved it (3179)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53701) - you deserved it (4069)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44255) - you deserved it (14232)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59088) - you deserved it (5338)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)



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