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Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn

26Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (49 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6936
  • Number of comments : 321
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:44pm<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:55am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:11am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:33am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:19pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 4:21am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:04am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:46pm<b>krfenton8</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:52am<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:13pm<b>CogadhTallon</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:00am<b>AyeJay101</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 6:47am<b>msizziec</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:42am<b>mds9986</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:34am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Tyrez</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 12:11pm<b>Crazion</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:06am<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:53am

Fucked!<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:55am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:19am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:04pm<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:40am<b>Crazion</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:06pm<b>GeneralMotors</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:13pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:00am<b>kibster9</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:52am<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:38pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:47pm<b>kimg0885</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:15pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:56pm<b>StillUsesMyspace</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 8:01pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:28am

Shmatterhorn's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Shmatterhorn's badges

Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML

#21503222
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (1431)

On 12/13/2015 at 7:45am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

#21476862
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (1936)

On 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

#21399347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (2272)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29697) - you deserved it (2040)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML

#21347009
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (1954)

On 01/30/2015 at 8:25pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

#21345004
111 comments

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32782) - you deserved it (9966)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34044) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

#21322769
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (6151)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32072) - you deserved it (2934)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML



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