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Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn

13Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (48 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4910
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>Stormcloak</b> - 37 minutes ago<b>Much2Much4U</b> - 11 hours ago<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:15pm<b>moodsoflol</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:40am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:33pm<b>XxDevilxXGt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:20pm<b>LordTickledicks</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:29am<b>kimg0885</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:01am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:47am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:44am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:28pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:40pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 5:45pm<b>AllSoul</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 12:21am<b>xorenae</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:43pm<b>bushytomatoe</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:08am<b>julako</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:39pm

Fucked!<b>kimg0885</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:15pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:56pm<b>StillUsesMyspace</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 8:01pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:28am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:19pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:43am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:42am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:42pm<b>mete_orito</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:38am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Paid4Hir3</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 5:25pm

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Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27777) - you deserved it (1772)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML

#21347009
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (1752)

On 01/30/2015 at 8:25pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

#21345004
112 comments

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27657) - you deserved it (8345)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (2218)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

#21322769
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (5539)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (2776)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML



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