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ShinyArcanine

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ShinyArcanine

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1286
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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ShinyArcanine's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

#21504401
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (1980)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:28am - kids - by anon (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

#21504013
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (2358)

On 12/15/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

#21499337
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (3284)

On 12/03/2015 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

#21499543
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18554) - you deserved it (2162)

On 12/03/2015 at 12:33am - love - by killmenow - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML

#21493073
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (3106)

On 11/16/2015 at 1:44am - intimacy - by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

#21491595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (2974)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:09am - intimacy - by notyourmummy (woman) - United Kingdom (Isle of Wight)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

#21480731
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

#21477939
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29299) - you deserved it (4137)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by not impressed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

#21477704
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (1523)

On 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Traveler (man) -

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML

#21469165
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML

#21467953
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/13/2015 at 11:34am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

#21463801
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (2323)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28715) - you deserved it (3069)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

#21461594
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (2385)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML



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