Shannonbena

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Offline (the 10/19/2016 at 12:03am)

Shannonbena

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 30498
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shannonbena : Ehh.

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Shannonbena's page activity

Visits<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 10:20am<b>matman82</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 1:31pm<b>username635</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:52pm<b>notmedo</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 5:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 10:16am<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:56am<b>Xxbeardsley</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:13am<b>PercyD1456</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 6:43am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:15pm<b>xKG33x</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:52am<b>MortenM</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:07am<b>brentt2711</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 11:37pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:00am<b>lanai80</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 5:36pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:20am<b>zappa9</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 11:20pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:02am

Fucked!<b>username635</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 10:52pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 7:04am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:15pm<b>FunnyGuy4831</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:14am

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Shannonbena's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2016 at 8:04pm / Kids

Today, I was in a clothing store with my girlfriend. I saw the ugliest hat ever on a hat shelf, tried it on and said to my girlfriend, "Look at this ugly hat, it's absolutely horrible. It's even dirty." An old woman stood next to me said, "Well no wonder it's ugly, it's mine." FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 5:15pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm still awake from not sleeping last night. The reason? At 2am I was in my garage when all of a sudden someone's phone went off outside. I live in the country and no one should be out there. Looks like I'm not sleeping for the next few weeks. FML.

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 12:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML

by automotive glass tech / 01/21/2016 at 1:09pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

by enya / 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 1:40am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I took my labrador to the vet because he seemed really sick and wasn't acting like his usual self the past few weeks. The vet said nothing was physically wrong with him and that he's most likely suffering from depression. My own depression is why I got a dog in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my card got declined at Subway, so I walked to the nearest cashpoint thirty minutes away to frantically figure out how much cash I had in my card. As I went to pull my card out of my purse, it slipped from my grip and fell into the sewer. The guy behind me snorted with laughter. FML

by brokeandcardless / 01/13/2016 at 7:15am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Money

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd / 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek